Who Ya Got?! Week 7: Kyzi’s Bairn Edition

Who Ya Got?! Week 7: Kyzi’s Bairn Edition

Week 7 and my personal love/hate relationship with fantasy continues. One day all the pieces will fall into place for me but again this year I’ll be happy to just be irrelevant. The bye weeks are truly up and running now so on top of having to sort each of our teams we also have to manage fuckers getting a break. All my ‘winners’ will be based on projected points – I’m putting zero effort in.

This blog will be short for two reasons. 1. I can’t be arsed. 2. If it’s shit I won’t have to do it again.

On what will be the only positive thought in this blog, and from previous reading in any blog, I want to give us a wee pep talk around gambling and our weekly bet. Don’t overdo it but by Christ I’m not interested in winning £1.83 each ya bunch of fannies. Consider the approach, one big £5 bet is better than 166 3p bets (with some change) and don’t turn up on Monday with a winner. We can do it!!!

Bobby Nelsons Tash Clash Game of the Week

Sambas Warriors vs Shooting by Arrangement

Firstly, well done on maintaining your team names over various seasons. The fact both names have held as a tribute to two horrific human beings is truly amazing.

Here are the projected points:

OneSki – 102.80
Commish – 102.74

Based on this OneYoung will take the W by 0.06 points. Let’s be honest with ourselves Commish has just potentially lost 2 RBs from the Stable while OneYoung continues to ride on the back of his young guns Mahomes and Kamara so there is no way this is going to be this tight either way.

I reckon OneYoung wins this but Commish seems to find a way to win each week, even though he has scored the third lowest points so far, Ito Smith on Tuesday morning could be relevant in this one….but unlikely.

Samba’s Warriors

Beast Mode vs A Bunch of Helmets

Projected Points:

Cabbage – 96.66
Doig – 93.84

Another close call by the NFL app which gives this one to Cab.  Mr Cabbage has risen to a position in which I feel I have respect for him – a tiny minuscule amount of respect but it’s a massive improvement. He makes good decisions, active on the waiver and has scored a decent amount of points.

Doig straight up does not deserve to be in amongst the muck he currently finds himself. This is an educator of future generations of Scotmid shelf stackers – let’s have some respect for him. This week looks bleak but I love the Eli move – your so committed to all the things which continue to fuck you over Doigy. When will you learn?

Well done Beast Mode – long may this new version of you remain active.

Asked Madden vs Top Shaggers

Projected Points:

Sheep – 107.62
Jimbo – 113.22

Stack these two halfwits on top of each other and all cats could be saved from trees forevermore without the use of the fire brigade. They would be heroes. They could get blowys on demand, from each other and best of all they would always be getting called out for the pussy. What a life!

Unfortunately you two are slow, moronic half human Neanderthals who continually trade rape smaller more fragile human men.

The Big W goes to Jimbo – nope not the giants Woolworths rammed with pick & mix and shit hygienic products ya fuck – a Win. And with this win you go over .500 which means you will re-discover your voice and be nippy as shit for weeks. (editors note: accurate)

Sheep unlucky – don’t spray too much of your spunk on the belt. 5-2 is still a solid mid-season position.

Hail cajy vs Goulash Goons

Projected Points:

caj – 103.88
Chin – 97.85

Let’s be honest – this should have been V3 of the mong clashes (see below). So congratulations Caj taking a 4th win and equaling this weeks opposition. Out-with your 3 running backs your team is horrendous. It actually makes me sick you have 3 wins already – 1 of which was against me. You sacrificing inmates for these Ws?!

Just a note on Chin for this week. This will in no way be fantasy relevant as the projected points have already told us this is pointless. You ever wonder if Goulashs Mum ever thought that like socks if she put 2 lads in the washing machine only one might come out? Wonder who she would have wanted to keep.

In a new set up and to continue my can’t be arsed ethos here are two mong clashes. Also there was no splitting these games based on what has happened so far this year.

Doofys Disabled Due v1.0

Newcraighall Nukes vs DeShaun of the Dead

Projected Points:

Ape – 102.63
Josh – 101.69

Well done Newcraighall Nukes – going over .500 here. Josh if only you had focused on draft day instead of filling your 4 stone torso with sausage….and not the good kind of sausages in Sheep’s opinion.

Doofys Disabled Duel v2.0

Bigger the Better vs Decatron’s Dabbing Dickeaters

Projected points:

Kyzi – 116.06
Decs – 60.34 (put your QB and Defence In you fuckwit)

Bigger the Better to win – fuck the chump.

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