Who Ya Got?! Week 5 Upside Down Edition Guest Blog

Who Ya Got?! Week 5 Upside Down Edition Guest Blog

Well thats 4 weeks of football already over. During these 4 weeks my RB1 has been under the knife, Cabbage appears to not be shite at fantasy football & Sheep has turned into an actual sausage roll. Fat wank. I put it to you like this. Once upon a time, fantasy was easy. Cabbage drafted defences in the first round. Decs drafted his favourite players round 1 & 2 regardless of quality. Ross never turned up and we shafted him. Games against Kyzie and Caj were wins. You were already setting your team for the next week and Davey had the blog post done before sunday night was over. It was like Mussie in the national leagues (dark times), you had those games that you just walked, your Livingston shite.
Enter 2018 also known as the upside down.
Declan has won. Chin has won. Caj & Cabbage are not Disabled Duel every week. Sheep is still fat, so its not completely different but you get the drift. Its Mussie in prem 2. No easy games, anyone can pump you rotten and drop 150 points all over your puss. In this weird and wonderful world Kyzi is still bad. But now he whines, and lets you know random stats on a Tuesday morning about why him? What has he done to deserve this? You will be asking that soon enough when it won’t sleep, refuses milk, and just keeps crying on and on and on……
Anyway games. Lets get this shit show on the road.

Bobby Nelsons Tash Clash Game of the Week

Shooting By Arangement vs Hail Cajy

Clash tash based solely off the fact somebody is gonna be hurting. They thought they were onto something, 3 – 1. Fuck me I might be alright at this, results are going my way. 3-2 doesnt quite have that ring to it, reeks of being an average wanker. Both teams have no idea how they are where they are. Neither deserve to be where they are. This game will put somebody in their place.
We laughed and ill tell you what AP heard us. He found his whooping stick and went to town. 236 yds in 3 weeks, fresh off a bye week to rest those old man legs, he is 100% dropping another 100 yard game. Wonder if he has to wear y fronts cause he is the oldest player? Im willing to bet he wore them anyway just like Cookie well before it became a thing in MRFC. Cajs talent speaks for itself, Elliot, Hunt, Goff. Oooosh thats some lineup callum, how did you manage to do this? You bald fat bastard.
Speaking of bald fat bastards, DP is quietly doing just enough to stay afloat. This is the man that would do anything to win this league, there is nothing this man wouldnt do to have the dosser in his life. Which is why I take great pleasure in him failing to do so each year. And this year looks no different. Playoffs if lucky then bombs out in a fit of rage. Picks somebody as the sacrifical lamb to get booted out the league in the name of poor participation. standard stuff. I look at this team and see disapointment, just like my own. He does have his own angry old man at RB, nearly was so different….
Pains me to say it but Hail caj to win.

Top Shaggers vs Beast Mode

We are through the looking glass, Cabbage is 4 – 0 and sitting pretty. Bell continues to sit out but now with rumblings of a return in week 7. (Unlucky doigy you get to enjoy that one. It truly does only rain on your fantasy team ). Its even looking up for andy in actual real life unimportant football. Seahawks won at the weekend. I mean if cabbage was allowed out the house for more than 40 minutes at the time he might be living his best life. Unfortunately he is under house arrest, trapped in the house never to see daylight again. Must be spending all this new spare time by researching FF as he has it currently locked down, not a single week under 100 points. Bill the brain must be raging about trading Cooks, he is revving it up right now for Rams and Cab must be tugging it off to all those sheepy slim points. Matt Ryan is doing some serious lifting at QB with 3 games 30+ points wooooft. But after these 2 studs its hard to see any reliable points, Ebron? Collins? Auld Marvin….? Its not so strong stuff Andy.
Onto my car crash. Running backs continue to elude me. Blue where are you when i need you? Joe Mixon better come back with a bionic knee and ready to pound the rock cause i fucking need him. Lamar Miller is never off the pitch yet does nothing, im growing to really hate that man. Keenan Allen and OBJ are just not firing, im sure they will but ken….its week 4? Lets get the finger out. The captain is leading the charge for my team, great value draft by a great man who really does know how to make great fantasy football plays. it will work out, believe.
Top Shaggers. Fuck cabbage. Non participant in the WhatsApp on a Sunday kick the cunt out and give me the points.

Asked Madden vs Bigger the Better

Two Bourgeois meet. Two fantasy heavyweights colide. Be glad this is not literal as if they collided the planet would implode.
Sheepy you better start finding some RB points elsewhere because Bell is coming back and your going to be without your top man. Currently rolling with the bengals D who have delivered -1 points over the past 2 weeks. Against a decent Miami team. Interesting strategy can only assume thats some fantasy subreddit patter you are choring. Agholor at WR is weak Sheepy, but its the only weak link in your team right now. Can see why you are 3 – 1 you tubby wanker.
Chin, Cajy & Cabbage. The three cunts of the apocalypse are who have beaten Kyzi so far, honestly i want to say its been bad luck. But I’m not going to because that would be too nice, try harder kebab.
5 years ago this game was rigged against Kyzi. Asked Madden to Win.

Decatrons Dabbing Destroyers vs Newcraighall Nukes

Oh how the mighty have fallen, Declan once king is now 0 – 4 trash. Almost a shoe in for the doofy already, rumor is its already engraved and been posted off to his house already. Every single available person on Decatrons bench is DNP. His starting RB and QB? DNP. Chuck 2 more starting WR in with LP. This team is weaker than Rodgers bionic knee.
Everyones favorite Pats fan. Dalvin Cook cracking draft that was. Oh how I wanted Gordon in the draft, and oh how he showed me I should have paid top dollar. 30 points he dropped on me last week, lucky for Ape Lindsay and his crazy haircut have been producing to replace cook. So at RB its all looking good, big Rab is banging them in from goff. I quite like this side and against Decs it could honestly have Buchan at RB1 and I would still back it.
Newcraighall Nukes is going to walk this just as everyone will against Decs walking dead team.

Samba Warriors vs Bunch of Helmets

Mahomes must do that every time he chucks the ball. if he doesnt he should be. This game is by far going to be the top scorer these teams are machines and if both are not playoff bound something is wrong.
Rosscos team is a riding machine, finds its target pumps them and moves on. Kamara & Mahomes put up 64 points last week. Sandys whole squad scored 84….that is terrifying.
Doigy another man who enjoys dropping stats on how unlucky he is. Him and Kyzi have their own WhatsApp called “Whining Bitches”
Watson & Hopkins are killer. Landry & Ertz also letting it rain
Hard to call. A Bunch of Helmets

Doofys Disabled Duel

Goulash Goons vs Deshaun of the dead

Boring 2 – 2 wanker.

Deshaun of the Dead

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