Who Ya Got?! Week 15: Prayers and Sacrifice Edition

Who Ya Got?! Week 15: Prayers and Sacrifice Edition

Hello pals and welcome, I have taken over the commisioners duties as he has said to me “I’m too busy getting rimmed by a moose and using maple syrup for lube to deal with that showers of bastards” Canada has changed him and I for one hope he stays to be eaten by a bear. It has been a long season and I for one am ecstatic that the DOOF (or who my Mrs refers too as “That cunt”) will finally be leaving my home after 24 months, and I thought 9 season at Mussy with the Doofs shite patter was bad enough but his eyes follow you around the room, penetrating your soul. Rumour has it that they are remaking Ghostbusters 2 and instead of using “Vigo the Carpathian” painting, Hollywood are in discussion to use the Doof, fucking haunting.

But hey lets talk FOOTBALL!

I will be honest I have disappointingly not followed this seasons, I know sacrilege! Especially seeing as at at one point I was riding so high I had the fucking munchies. Looking at the league table you would think that the draft was done with expert grace and poise, 4 teams all on 7-7 records but really they shat the bed. Oh how they laughed when I spunked my load on Zeke, Hunt and AP in the draft and with a record of 8-6, my team would have been a contender if it wasn’t for Cunt, sorry i mean Hunt. I’m guessing that Hunt decided to watch Rush Hour in the off season and go full Jackie Chan on some bird. Why do NFL players do this? Are they not content with earning millions and enjoying playing football for 5 months of the year? No they have to become twats and ruin my FIRST CHANCE OF MAKING THE FUCKING PLAYOFFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway before Cabbage defends his soul mate lets get down to business.

Bobby Nelson Cash Clash Game of the Week

A Bunch of Helmets (6-8) vs Decatrons Dabbing Destroyers (2-12)

I know I bet you are reading this to think why do these two twats deserve the belt? Simple – because I fucking said so! Right?! Either stop reading this drivel or shut up and continue. Firstly Doigy, I mean this from the bottom of my heart. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha<br>hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha<br>hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahah hah ha. Now i bet you are thinking why, Caj, why? Truth be told because of your behaviour in the chat, just because you have ended up in the “Door” (EDITORS NOTE: I don’t know if this is a spelling error or someone said this so I’m leaving it) play offs, you have decided to now stand up on your soap box, throw the teddy out the pram and cry to the commish saying its not fair! Lifes not fair my boy, Deal with it! It is hilarious that you have out scored 8 teams and still ended in the dregs of our league, but if points don’t equal wins then nobody cares! This week you have the Texans up against a piss poor Jets D, Watson and Hopkins should hopefully be the wind beneath you but the rest of your match ups look like a tough ride. Decs your teams score has to be the worst in our league history, I believe I will need to confirm with our league historian but I’m pretty sure Decatrons dabbling destroyers have secured that accolade, Congrats! I was not going to inform the league of your secret collusion with me to set up
Doigy but I believe that I have a duty to report this so the elders can make their decision. My recommendation is that he tattoos Decatrons Dabbling Destroyers to his chest as it is a reminder
of his deceit and to carry on his family tradition of getting shite tattoos. A Bunch of Helmets, Im giving you the win only because I cant bare to hear cabbage shite patter for the rest of the week. We get it cab you love Doigy, nobody cares anymore

Doofys Disabled Duel

Lads lets face it if you are not in the playoffs for the championship or the Doof, you don’t care, am I right! so lets save time and pop them both in. Commish if you have a problem with this you can
email me on IKNOWTHEELDERESEXSIST@COLLUISION.COM.

Samba Warriors (12-2) vs Goulash Goons (8-6)

Rosco you have went the distance this season and with the same amount of wins as Decs has losses, fantastic. For a guy who actually plays this sport you would think that you would be doing this every season? Or has it just begun? Has the red dragon awaken???
And then Chinwonder, FUCK YOU! that was my playoff spot, hope you graze your fucking chin! Lets look at the matchup and the most interesting part is the wide receivers from the steelers, JuJu
vs Auld Brownie. (Racism or unknown nickname) So I did a little math, Calm down Doigy don’t climax just yet, JuJu has scored thus far (yes, I used the word thus) 267.60 points this season to Brown 221.30 points, so from this calculation JuJu has been giving Big Ben more Krispy Kreme and Ice cream than Brown, with this logic Rosco has the advantage. I know what I will be doing next season is double drafting both Brown and Juju as it is very impressive that i can add that high.
Next!
It is a privilege to annonce this but Kebab has made the playoffs!, I am little worried that he sold his new born to the football gods but hey, that is a commitment to the league! for shame on ape and wee Josh, Shame! I know kyzie will be polishing his earring in excitment for this upcoming weekend tugging himself with a belt around his neck shouting “turn the gas off!” but guess what,
Sheep to win!

Lastly, I am looking forward to next season and how it turns out, maybe Doigy gets his way, Jimbo will go to anger management and josh might strike up a conversation in the chat but all i know to be true is that I will not have the Doof!</p>

Peace out!

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